Sometimes, just reading the list of stuff I have to do on a daily basis, sends me into meltdown. I am not just talking about work stuff. I mean the whole load. Work, house, children, animals. The list is endless. Some days, it just feels as if it goes on and on and on……
The biggest part of what I do means I get to meet so many women on a daily basis, who feel they have to be Wonder Woman, or Super Woman, or some other super hero 24/7. We work ourselves so hard, we put so much pressure on our ourselves to be perfect and we end up tired, frustrated and unhappy.
Why am I writing this post? I had a long summer. My son has been in hospital for almost 4 months. Juggling two spirited young girls, one of whom had just finished her GCSES and the normal round of stuff we do every single day, I got to the end of the summer feeling like my hair was standing on end. As well as not being a pretty sight, I was tired, really tired and had to give myself a bit of a boot up the backside to get cracking with work again. I am the master of juggling and anybody that has a small insight into the world of managing an Autistic child with complex needs, knows exactly what I am talking about.
A wonderful friend knew how tired i really was and sent me a ‘Wonder Woman’ cape in the post. The children thought it was hilarious whilst I sat wearing it, just to make a point.
Over the summer, I was not as productive as I could have been. I took care of a complex child struggling with mental health issues in hospital. It was a VERY intense summer. And there was me wondering why I didn’t tick off the things I had on my list for the summer.
It’s very easy to forget to take care of ourselves and to focus on what hasn’t been done, rather than notice what we do achieve. I know my drivers and I know my boundaries. I know how to tune into myself. Sometimes, I need to put an alert on somewhere to remind myself of this.
I don’t know about you, but feeling bad about myself, is not a motivator for me to get things done, it ends up being the start of a downward spiral where I question everything.
Once I had got the kids back to school, I did take some time to reflect. Actually I have managed to keep my business on track. I have put in the ground work. It will operate if I step back sometimes. It’s not going to disappear in a puff of smoke. Reminder: set that alert more often.
We all have hectic schedules. None of us really know how difficult running a business is, until we actually do it. Sometimes we are too scared to say ‘No’ to things. We put far too much pressure on ourselves. If we step back, we worry that somebody else will come along that is much more interesting and exciting and we will be forgotten and replaceable. We think if we can’t do it, someone else will jump in there. I’ve learnt this isn’t true. It’s about mindset, and yes there is an incredible amount of pressure to be ‘Wonder Woman’ but when it works you do feel like ‘Wonder Woman’.
My cape had been put away after the summer, but I have got it out again because the next couple of months are always crazy in the run up to Christmas! I may as well keep it out. Let’s face it, the reality of life is that we have ups and downs. There are frustrations, anxieties and things don’t work. There is self-doubt.
My advice to you would be, don’t undermine yourself. Be confident. Be brave. Be bold. Don’t worry about needing to come across as being ‘Wonder Woman’. You already are.
Next time you doubt your ability, stand in a wide-stance (like a Wonder Woman pose) and recognise how much you do and how far you have come. We are all ‘Wonder Women’. If anybody wants to borrow my cape, you are more than welcome to do so!